homesong

It's my dad's birthday today. Yesterday, i made him this sorta poem and i don't know why am posting this here - maybe just because i want to remember just how much i love my dad no matter the family drama. xp


Happy Birthday, Dad

So many times i've wanted to tell you
   everything i feel for you,
Somehow, a lot has been left unsaid
   through the years...
Today, i want to tell you just
   how much i love you
I know these three words don't
   seem to be enough
And i've always wanted to
   tell you more...

( ... )

Just sitting down and resting a bit in the chaos of the house. Catching up on reading friends lj entries and read Noey's post --> http://mlina.livejournal.com/539676.html?#cutid1 -about the move. Laughed out loud several times how she aptly described last Friday and Saturday.

I know that it probably is an impossibility to be able to move everything out by Saturday, to pack up. sort and go thru everything in just ten days? After all, we've lived here in Timog for over 12 years, i think.

Major/heavy furnitures and things MUST be ready to go again come this Saturday. There's still Nate's double deck, study table, his tv cabinet, my sewing machine, Noey's wicker loveseat, two bookshelves in our bedroom, the bag rack, the dresser, side table, four metal shelvings (which i know one should still go to Nate's room and three at the back for storage organizing). There still are the two glass shelvings in the sala, another tv cart/stand, the old backtable (which can be used at the back too) and the aquarium stand with its two empty 75 gallon aquariums. In the kitchen/dining: dining table, dish cabinet, upright freezer, refrigerator, my big gas range, the wire stand where we place the pots and pans, two tables where we place the microwave, toaster and rice cooker. At the back there still Noey's Little Tikes playhouse with its six major parts, four walls and two roof, extra Monobloc chairs, big pails and laundry basins.

And that's just the rest of the big stuff. I have a lot of little stuff to deal with and i think i need a week more which i don't have. Cry. :(

At least Punch is being good about just staying on a chair the whole time we are downstairs doing stuff. I don't want him on the floor since it's quite dusty and he has this tendency to scratch himself till he bleeds when he gets even a bit dirty.

Now back to sorting and packing.

It has been a hectic three days. :( Tired and just thinking of what more there is to do, i would like nothing better and just say, "
throw everything away".

I got up this morning at 4:15 when my phone alarm woke me up (my first wake up - to make Noey and Neal hot water for their morning bath) and couldn't get back to sleep like i usually do. The wheels in my mind was literally whirling, i think. I kept on thinking what else is there to do, what to do first, what next? Decided i wouldn't get back to sleep anyway and got up, went downstairs to make coffee, and made lists.

I know the move now is easier than the last three moves we've had in the last 26 years. I now have grown kids to help me: it's a good thing Noey and i think the same most of the time, so i have 'another head' who thinks like me as to what to do/how to do it and two strapping sons to do the grunt work and other heavy stuff.

Spent the latter part of the day in Pasig. Argued for a while with hubby as to the placement of the furnitures in the sala. Argued more with Noey (with Neal laughing his head off at how I kept changing my mind) as to where the living room couches should be after hubby took off for another trip back to Timog.

After argument was settled, supervised the placement of the three big bookshelves upstairs, as well as the placement of our bed in the masters bedroom. Felt accomplished that we were able to do a lot by the time hubby came back.

Last night, Noey commented that Punch actually likes the new place. He spent his time outside in the garage and back again inside. We tried teaching him how to go up the stairs by himself but ended up still carrying him up and down.

We still have a ways to go, but we're getting there.

Now back to sorting and packing.

Meme snicked from darling daughter. Her answers follow which is love <3.

Reply to this post, and I will list three things I love about you. I may even list more than three. The only thing you need to do in return is repost this to your own journal so that we can spread the love.

noey's mlina response:

There are some days i feel overwhelmed by the stuff i need to do at home before i can go to work. It is tough not having any live in help at home. There's also no point in wishing that hubby dear could give a hand now and then - our first 15 years of marriage have spoiled him that wishing it were otherwise is just daydreaming on my part.

That's why for my two sons, i am training them to be house-friendly. Among their chores include, doing the laundry - sorting, loading the washing machine, drying, folding; setting and clearing the table, putting away leftovers, putting away the dishes, throwing the garbage and feeding the duck and our adopted outside the house cats.

Still...today is one day that i needed reminding that one's partner may not be the ideal in a number of ways, but keeping a marriage (we will be celebrating our 25th this coming December) is all about:


We are shaped and fashioned by what we love.
- Goethe

Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate but through BEING the right mate.
- Barnett Brickner


Love is unconditional commitment to an imperfect person.

Acceptance is one of the keys to happy relationships. Often we don't recognize real moments of happiness in our lives because we've been expecting something different - something bigger or perhaps more dramatic.


Marriage is not about finding the perfect match. It's about trying to match the different pieces together perfectly.
- Courteney Cox

Choose well, for what you choose you live with.
- Nora Roberts

Love is about commitment on both sides to making things work when things are no longer new and easy. Love is about sharing similar goals and dreams, and it's about wanting the person you adore to be happy, even if what makes him happy isn't necessarily something that will make you happy. Love is something you can't truly feel for another person until you feel it for yourself - for in the romantic equation, it is not two halves that make a whole, but two wholes that gloriously come together.
- Sherry Amatenstein

One of the greatest perks of being in a healthy relationship is reveling in the security of knowing that no matter how stressful and tough my day gets, I can go home and cocoon with someone who loves and accepts me, utterly.
- Sherry Amatenstein

Can't remember where i got this one...

Ten Truths About Relationships - Rinatta Paries

1. Until you resolve past relationships, you are not free to have future relationships. Unresolved past relationships hold you back from meeting the right person.

2. If you feel empty, trying to date and find a mate will most likely make you feel even emptier. People sense neediness and stay away.

( Read more... )

If I were to take the time
to explain

the whys
and wherefores

of my convictions and dreams
defending the pattern of my life
I would be left
with no time to live it.


- logan clarke



The above poem is from a book of poetry entitled "Just Passing Through" by logan clarke.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807-1882)
A PSALM OF LIFE

WHAT THE HEART OF THE YOUNG MAN
SAID TO THE PSALMIST

TELL me not, in mournful numbers,
Life is but an empty dream ! —
For the soul is dead that slumbers,
And things are not what they seem.

Life is real ! Life is earnest!
And the grave is not its goal ;
Dust thou art, to dust returnest,
Was not spoken of the soul.

Not enjoyment, and not sorrow,
Is our destined end or way ;
But to act, that each to-morrow
Find us farther than to-day.

Art is long, and Time is fleeting,
And our hearts, though stout and brave,
Still, like muffled drums, are beating
Funeral marches to the grave.

In the world's broad field of battle,
In the bivouac of Life,
Be not like dumb, driven cattle !
Be a hero in the strife !

Trust no Future, howe'er pleasant !
Let the dead Past bury its dead !
Act,— act in the living Present !
Heart within, and God o'erhead !

Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
Footprints on the sands of time ;

Footprints, that perhaps another,
Sailing o'er life's solemn main,
A forlorn and shipwrecked brother,
Seeing, shall take heart again.

Let us, then, be up and doing,
With a heart for any fate ;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Learn to labor and to wait.

I love clipping articles from magazines and keeping them in this clear plastic file folder. Sometimes if i also come across certain lines from books i read, i copy them to this Pooh Bear notebook. Noey always tells me that i can just post quotes like i used to do the first time i used livejournal - that's to my complaints that there are stuff i feel i can't write and share on lj, hence the reason i seldom update.

Anyway. Just thought to share...this came from an article written by Sarah Breathnach on a Family Circle magazine.

Discover the sacred in the ordinary; every day is a gift.

20 Things to Be Thankful For

- Faith in the ultimate goodness of life.
- Faith in yourself.
- Faith that what you seek, you will find.
- The kindness of strangers.
- The warmth and security of home.
- Expressions of unconditional love and support.
- Your health.
- The health of those you love.
- Your boundless imagination.
- Restored hope.
- Answered prayers.
- Daydreams.
- Following your intuition and being happy you did.
- Holding your child in your arms.
- Delighting in other people's children.
- Witnessing the birth of new life.
- Trying something new and loving it.
- The desire for knowledge.
- Watching the sunset.
- Meeting a kindred spirit.

Yesterday, the doorway that led to what used to be our playroom and stockroom was finally walled up. Don't know how i feel now --- although it seemed that a chapter of our lives has closed.

Admittedly felt depressed a lot these past months knowing we have to find a way to fit all our stuff again to what was our original two apartment units. Most of the work of clearing the two rooms fell to me since i know which of the stuff i have to throw away and which ones to keep.

I know i am such a packrat given the i still have the kids work way back when they were in nursery school. I can't seem to let go of these things no matter that they don't have value at all except the memories i've attached to them.

Nathan's room and the sala has become the dumping ground of boxes and boxes of stuff. Navigating the ground floor of the apartment (sala and dining) has become an obstacle course of sorts but then its not as if we can just throw stuff away without checking them out. Have already given away boxes and boxes of toys and clothes and thrown away a lot of trash. I can't believe how many hundred kilos of paper we've kept - have sorted these by color, as in white, browns and colored, since white is bought by the junk shop at seven pesos per kilo, while the browns and colored paper are just at one peso.

The upside to this upheaval in our lives is we FINALLY get to simplify and pare down our stuff. I don't know as yet what to do with the pocketbooks and magazines i don't plan to keep anymore - boxes and boxes of Mills and Boon romance. Suggestions, anyone?

One of the things i plan to do is display the very expensive toys the kids have - from Power Rangers to Xmen 12" poseable figures to Zoids to robots. I love seeing those display cases in toy stores that showcase a collection of toys - must do the same given that we have toys stashed away in baskets and drawers. I also plan to display Noey's Disney poseable figures - i think she has toy figures for every cartoon/Disney movie. (Imagine my relief when i finally found that the box i thought we lost containing these toys).

Plan to finish going through all the stuff so that the sala will be cleared soon.

Just wanted to post that this day started out pretty good, despite the rainy weather and all. Usually Mondays are not good.

Neal's done with his PhilSci 2nd screening and his Dad and i laughed that he said the test was EASY!!! Compared with the 1st screening, this was relatively easier daw. Hah!

We asked him questions about his answers and what he remembers and my hubby said that Neal probably found the tests easy because what he had studied came out. "Sapok" as he terms it. I guess, that's bullseye if translated in English? :)

Anyway, i know i haven't pressured Neal in studying as much for the 2nd screening. His chances in getting in seems to be slim considering what i have read about Philippine Science. They will accept 240 freshmen students who will get the highest scores in the Main Campus and about 90 each in all the other campuses nationwide. Neal's choice of campus is only the Main, the one in Agham Road. Statisticswise, unless Neal did exceptionally well in both Science and Math, his chances of making the quota slot is kind of slim.

Still, my baby might yet again surprise me. I've told myself that i should have more confidence in him. I guess it's just that i don't want to raise my hopes up too much since his passing Pisay is yet another thing am counting on to make our lives a little easier.

Well, will see. What will be will be. God willing.

Today's also Noey's first day of work. I wish you all the best as you start another milestone in your life, bebeh. :)

Today's a good day. *smiles*

You are the Hanged Man

Self-sacrifice, Sacrifice, Devotion, Bound.

With the Hanged man there is often a sense of fatalism, waiting for something to happen. Or a fear of
loss from a situation, rather than gain.

The Hanged Man is perhaps the most fascinating card in the deck. It reflects the story of Odin who offered himself as a sacrifice in order to gain knowledge. Hanging from the world tree, wounded by a spear, given no bread or mead, he hung for nine days. On the last day, he saw on the ground runes that had fallen from the tree, understood their meaning, and, coming down, scooped them up for his own. All knowledge is to be found in these runes.

The Hanged Man, in similar fashion, is a card about suspension, not life or death. It signifies selflessness, sacrifice and prophecy. You make yourself vulnerable and in doing so, gain illumination. You see the world differently, with almost mystical insights.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

CONGRATULATIONS NEAL!!!


When i saw Lina holding a long size letter envelope and some postcards, my heart went hyperdrive. I knew even without seeing the return address of the letter that it must be the result of his first screening exam from Philippine Science High School.

I just read the first line which started...."We are pleased to inform you..." and i shouted at Neal to come downstairs. When i showed him the letter and told him to show it to Dad, smiles and shouts of glee abounded. :) :) :)

We've heard that a lot of those who were taking the exams went to review schools like MSA. Neal has been reviewing on his own at home with just a little help from us, so there was the worry that we might not be reviewing enough.

There was also that incident a week ago when i scolded him for being lax about studying just because the results are not yet out. I told him he couldn't afford to be complacent as yet and its better to be over prepared (he said that he found the first exam 'easy' - in the sense i guess that he really didn't have much difficulty and considering we've already studied the science part when it wasn't even part of the first exam and the materials i gave for abstract reasoning were taken from a psychometric site which i think is given to professionals, so yeah, overkill).

Anyway, the first part is over and we could breath easier. As i told Neal, the hard part is ahead and that means about a month of work for him over and above his regular school work.

Am SO PROUD of you, baby!

:(

I don't know how i feel about Neal turning THIRTEEN today. I guess i'm kind of sad that today he's officially become a TEENAGER. My baby's growing up.

I know that i should be thankful that i still get hugs and kisses from him especially when i don't ask for it. I should be thankful that he now shares how his day was in school. I should be thankful that he has changed so much emotionally and socially.

In the last parents' meeting in his school, his English teacher said that this is the time that they (our sons) crave the approval of their peers. Another parent told me that her son barely answers her when she talks to him and complains that she asks too much questions.

Considering all that,I know that there's a lot i should be thankful because PRECISELY, Neal IS growing up. I guess what I don't want is for Neal to grow emotionally distant from me.

Today is Neal's birthday. It is also my (Neal's) birth day. I feel as birthday wishes go, i am also entitled to make one. And if there's anything i'd wish for today, it's that Neal and I would continue to have the closeness we have today as in the years to come.

HAPPY 13TH BIRTHDAY, NEAL! I LOVE YOU, BABY!

Posted: 11/03/06 3:23 p.m.

Noey told me that she just got a call from Add Force about Shell's job offer. She's suppose to go to Shell on Friday, November 3, 2006 at 2:00 pm. I'll consider the date a good omen considering it's Neal's birthday.

It might seem there's no connection about Noey's appointment and Neal's birthday but we've always considered Neal lucky. So here's hoping the luck will hold true for you, bebeh. :)


Posted 10/30/2006 4:05 pm

I knew that Neal wrote a letter for me before he went to sleep last night. I saw it, and when i asked what it was, he said, that am supposed to read it when he's left the house already for his student seminar. I even saw where he put it on the bookshelf.

When i gave him a hug and said my goodbyes to him at the gate in his school, he whispered that i shouldn't forget to read his letter. :) This is what he wrote:

Written outside on the folded letter: Please Open after I leave the house for seminar

Current Mood: :)

It's a Monday and the week's just starting but am already T.I.R.E.D.

Maybe it's the fact that i had a deadline to check the payroll, i had to spend important last minute (hours actually) with Neal so i could assess his readiness in taking the Phil Science exam last Saturday morning. Had to go grocery yesterday so i could buy all the foodie Neal's going to bring to his yearly student seminar this Oct. 17-19. And i had to follow up emails from the titas so that i could print out their retreat letters to Neal. And that's not considering the million things and one that needs to get done around the house without maids.

Hay! Just thinking about the weekend (which was no weekend in my opinion since i never had a chance to relax), it's no wonder am tired.

This student seminar of Neal is going to be special i think. For one, it's going to be a deviation from the normal student seminar since they will have their first retreat. The Marian Orchard in Batangas is a retreat house, so the venue for one is really geared towards having a retreat.

I know Neal's concerned with the food he's going to bring - NOVA, PIATTOS, CHOCOLATE CRUNCHIES, MALLOWS, CHUCKIE CHOCOLATE DRINK, and though he didn't ask, KITKAT CHOCO WAFERS. He's already talking about sharing these with his friends.

I wonder how he'll react to the letters he's getting. I know that they don't have any idea about these retreat letters since the class advisers/moderators went to a lot of effort to keep this information from them - all letters given to the adviser in sealed brown envelopes.

I remember going through something like this for Nathan and several times with Noey. This will be a first for Neal.

Death is harder for those left behind.
I'm going to miss you so much, Mutt.


thanks for all those who gave me hugs to make me feel better. thank you to steph who made this to remember Muttsy by.

a little gift from my daughter's friend, Skwinky

Current Mood: :(

I try to spend time browsing deviantart.com daily. My account there isn't much considering the number of pics i've put up in my gallery. Most of the time, i love browsing for photographs, art and whatnots to fave. And yesterday i noticed that the number of my favorites was up to 998. I told Noey this morning that i wish that my 1000th favorite would be deserving the spot.

A few moments ago, i browsed deviantart again and as usual, randomly kept on clicking and i froze remembering that i wanted the 1000th fave to be a conscious pick. I guess i shoudn't have worried...because i picked this:

a deviation by `gilad